Making the decision whether to abort or continue with your pregnancy can be a scary thing, especially if you have a boyfriend pressuring you, not thinking about what is right for you. You might feel torn between what he wants you to do and what you think you should do; but YOU have the final say on what you will do.
Your pregnancy will complicate your relationship; for many men, they may demonstrate their fear of fatherhood through bouts of anger, a desire to run away, or an attitude that automatically assumes you will have an aboriton. If your boyfriend is pressuring you for an abortion, it’s improtant you sort out why he feels so strongly about aborting. To try to decide if your boyfriend is thinking about what’s best for you or himself, ask yourself the following questions:
- Does your boyfriend listen to your concerns and understand your worries about abortion?
- Is your boyfriend willing to discuss alternatives to abortion (such as adoption or parenting)?
- Is your boyfriend pushing really hard for you to get an abortion, no matter what?
- Could your boyfriend be worried about having to pay future child support?
- Has your boyfriend told you in the past that he doesn’t want any (more) children?
- Is your boyfriend worried about the risks you face, both physical and emotional, in an abortion?
It is common for a man to threaten to leave a relationship when he wants an abortion, but his partner doesn’t. If this is the case, your relationship most likely is going to end soon, anyway. Abortion leaves years of guilt and pain within a woman; it is a reminder to the man of the pressure he exerted on his girlfriend, leaving him feeling guilty as well. This makes the relationship uncomfortable and, in most cases, the relationship ends shortly after the abortion.
MAKING YOUR DECISION
Yours is a difficult decision, especially if you have a boyfriend pushing you to get an abortion. You need to decide for yourself what’s best for you; abortion causes pain and suffering to a woman. The decision to abort directly affects you and once that decision is made, you most likely will be left alone, dealing with feelings of sadness and guilt. Carefully look at the alternatives of adoption and parenting; decide in favor of what is right, not what you are being pressured to do.